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2018-01-20

13 Things Mentally Strong People and Parents Don't Do – advice by Amy Morin



For only $2.99 you can get the fantastic book "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do". Click here to buy the digital book on Amazon.

Even if you have zero interest in "self-help", this empathic book by psychotherapist Amy Morin offers extremely constructive advice on how to deal with challenges and disappointments.

I recommend getting it now, before the price goes back to the usual $16.99.

"Take back your power, embrace change, face your fears, and train your brain for happiness and success."

1. They Don't Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves.

You don't see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they've been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with phrases such as “Oh, well.” Or perhaps simply, “Next!”

2. They Don't Give Away Their Power.

Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.

3. They Don't Shy Away from Change.

Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear," if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.

4. They Don't Waste Energy on Things They Can't Control.

Mentally strong people don't complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.

5. They Don't Worry About Pleasing Others.

Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.

6. They Don't Fear Taking Calculated Risks.

A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.

7. They Don't Dwell on the Past.

There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.

8. They Don't Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over.

We all know the definition of insanity, right? It's when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we've gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.

9. They Don't Resent Other People's Success.

It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people's success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don't become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

10. They Don't Give Up After Failure.

Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.

11. They Don't Fear Alone Time.

Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don't depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.

12. They Don't Feel the World Owes Them Anything.

Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

13. They Don't Expect Immediate Results.

Whether it's a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time.





If you are a parent, also get her other very useful title "13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do".

"Raising self-assured children and training their brains for a life of happiness, meaning, and success."

1. They Don't Condone A Victim Mentality

Getting cut from the soccer team or failing a class doesn't make your child a victim. Rejection, failure, and unfairness are part of life. Rather than allow kids to host pity parties or exaggerate their misfortune, mentally strong parents encourage their children to turn their struggles into strength. They help them identify ways in which they can take positive action, despite their circumstances.

2. They Don't Parent Out Of Guilt

Guilty feelings can lead to a long list of unhealthy parenting strategies — like giving in to your child after you've said no or overindulging your child on the holidays. Mentally strong parents know that although guilt is uncomfortable, it's tolerable. They refuse to let their guilty feelings get in the way of making wise choices.

3. They Don't Make Their Child The Center Of The Universe

It can be tempting to make your life revolve around your child. But kids who think they're the center of the universe grow up to be self-absorbed and entitled. Mentally strong parents teach their kids to focus on what they have to offer the world — rather than what they're owed.

4. They Don't Allow Fear To Dictate Their Choices

Keeping your child inside a protective bubble could spare you a lot of anxiety. But keeping kids too safe stunts their development. Mentally strong parents view themselves as guides, not protectors. They allow their kids to go out into the world and experience life, even when it's scary to let go.

5. They Don't Give Their Child Power Over Them

Kids who dictate what the family is going to eat for dinner, or those who orchestrate how to spend their weekends, have too much power.  Becoming more like an equal — or even the boss — isn't healthy for kids. Mentally strong parents empower kids to make appropriate choices while maintaining a clear hierarchy.

6. They Don't Expect Perfection

High expectations are healthy, but expecting too much from kids will backfire. Mentally strong parents recognize that their kids are not going to excel at everything they do. Rather than push their kids to be better than everyone else, they focus on helping them become the best versions of themselves.

7. They Don't Let Their Child Avoid Responsibility

You won't catch a mentally strong parent saying things like, “I don't want to burden my kids with chores. Kids should just be kids.” They expect children to pitch in and learn the skills they need to become responsible citizens. They proactively teach their kids to take responsibility for their choices and they assign them age-appropriate duties.

8. They Don't Shield Their Child From Pain

It's tough to watch kids struggle with hurt feelings or anxiety. But, kids need practice and first-hand experience tolerating discomfort. Mentally strong parents provide their kids with the support and help they need coping with pain so their kids can gain confidence in their ability to deal with whatever hardships life throws their way.

9. They Don't Feel Responsible For Their Child's Emotions

It can be tempting to cheer your kids up when they're sad or calm them down when they're angry. But, regulating your kids' emotions for them prevents them from gaining social and emotional skills. Mentally strong parents teach their children how to be responsible for their own emotions so they don't depend on others to do it for them.

10. They Don't Prevent Their Child From Making Mistakes

Whether your child gets a few questions wrong on his math homework or he forgets to pack his cleats for soccer practice, mistakes can be life's greatest teacher. Mentally strong parents let their kids mess up — and they allow them to face the natural consequences of their actions.

11. They Don't Confuse Discipline With Punishment

Punishment is about making kids suffer for their wrongdoing. Discipline is about teaching them how to do better in the future. And while mentally strong parents do give out consequences, their ultimate goal is to teach kids to develop the self-discipline they'll need to make better choices down the road.

12. They Don't Take Shortcuts To Avoid Discomfort

Giving in when a child whines or doing your kids' chores for them, is fast and easy. But, those shortcuts teach kids unhealthy habits. It takes mental strength to tolerate discomfort and avoid those tempting shortcuts.

13. They Don't Lose Sight Of Their Values

In today's fast-paced world it's easy to get wrapped up in the day-to-day business of homework, chores, and sports practices. Those hectic schedules — combined with the pressure to look like parent of the year on social media —cause many people to lose sight of what's really important in life. Mentally strong parents know their values and they ensure their family lives according to them.

2017-09-10

Hvorfor du ikke kan stemme på et parti med Jonas Gahr Støre



Her er noen av grunnene til at du ikke kan stemme på et Arbeiderparti med Jonas Gahr Støre i ledelsen.

Støre har nemlig gjort en rekke grove tabber og fatale feilvurderinger, i tillegg til at han mange ganger har vist et grunnleggende udemokratisk sinnelag:


1) Det åpenbare inhabilitetsproblemet hans i Felix Tschudi-saken, og forsøket på å dekke over dette. Denne saken alene viser at han ikke har nok integritet til å hverken være politiker, partileder eller statsminister: Aftenposten (https://goo.gl/KeCFiH) og Dagbladet (https://goo.gl/xAR6St).

Da saken om Gahr Støres inhabilitet kom opp, hevdet Gahr Støre at Tschudi kun var en bekjent, men de har feiret bursdager, 17. mai og nyttårsaften sammen, og vært gjester i hverandres bryllup. De var utvilsomt venner.

Dette alene viser at han ikke har nok integritet til å være en ledende politiker.


2) I karikaturstriden i 2006 kastet han Magazinet/Dagen og Vebjørn Selbekk til ulvene, og hevdet at "ingen toneangivende norske medier" hadde trykket Muhammed-tegningene, selv om det ikke stemte i det hele tatt. I tillegg sa han at "saken er preget av ekstremisme fra begge sider" - underforstått at Selbekk var like ekstremistisk som de voldelige religiøse fanatikerne.

Han prøvde også på Norges vegne å beklage (!) for Selbekks trykking av karikaturene med dette brevet til myndigheter i landene i Midt-Østen, for så å forsøke og hemmeligholde brevet for media.


3) Han stemte FOR den utskjelte blasfemiloven i 2009, før den ble trukket tilbake av regjeringen.


4) Etter Charlie Hebdo-massakren i 2015 sa han til Dagens Næringsliv at "Jeg vil ikke si det er viktig å stå opp for retten til å bedrive blasfemi."


5) Han besøkte det konservative sommerstevnet i Sarons dal, og legitimerte kristenbevegelsen og deres såkalte helbredelser og demonutdrivelser. Dessuten kan det sies at det er svært tvilsom dømmekraft å bli troende kristen i voksen alder.

Alle disse sakene rundt religion viser at han ikke vil kjempe for ytringsfriheten, men heller vil gi plass til teokrati og irrasjonell overtro.


6) I 2011 ville han innlemme datalagringsdirektivet før EU foretok sin revisjon.


7) Som utenriksminister var han forkjemper for å knytte sterkere bånd til menneskerettighets-verstingen Saudi-Arabia, og var en viktig medspiller for at de åpnet ambassade i Norge i 2011, fordi “på tross av store politiske og kulturelle forskjeller er Saudi-Arabia en viktig samarbeidspartner for Norge” når det gjelder olje og gass.

Se ellers et intervju med Gahr Støre og en kort og grei TV2-reportasje, om at Saudi-Arabia, Kina, Russland, Syria og andre verstinger er med i FNs menneskerettighetsråd. Dessuten at disse landene blir valgt inn gjennom hemmelige voteringer, og prøver i rådet å flytte oppmerksomheten over på Israel.


8) Han løy også på direkte spørsmål om at han ikke hadde hatt politiske samtaler med Hamas, som dette videointervjuet med TV2 viser. I tillegg løy han om å ikke ha snakket med Venstre om asylbarn-saken i 2015.


9) Og ellers er han en rikmannssønn som tok feil dør og egentlig skulle gått inn den til Høyre.

Det er svært trist at Gahr Støre klarte å komme seg til toppen av Arbeiderpartiet, som snart bør skifte navn til noe mer passende.

2017-08-29

Stems and multitrack files I'm looking for



Here are the multitracks I have:
https://goo.gl/4nprca


Here are artists and songs I'm looking for multitracks of:
A Flock Of Seagulls - The More You Live
Depeche Mode (except "Never Let Me Down Again", "Personal Jesus" and "Policy Of Truth")
Frankie Goes To Hollywood (except "Relax")
George Benson - Give Me The Night
George Benson - Midnight Love Affair
George Benson - Moody's Mood
George Benson - Turn Out The Lamplight
George Benson - What's On Your Mind
Grace Jones (anything)
Isaac Hayes - The Look Of Love (and anything else)
Madonna - Bedtime Story
Madonna - Burning Up
Madonna - Justify My Love
Madonna - Masterpiece
Mariah Carey - Can't Let Go
Michael Jackson - Black Or White (multitrack session)
Michael Jackson - Get On The Floor
Michael Jackson - Girlfriend (76 tracks or other version)
Michael Jackson - Rock With You (49 tracks or other version)
Michael Jackson - Thriller (multitrack session)
Michael Jackson - Workin' Day And Night (49 tracks or other version)
Nicolette Larson - Lotta Love
Rihanna - Don't Stop The Music (Pro Tools multitrack or other version)
Robbie Williams - Angels
Robbie Williams - Let Me Entertain You
The Jackson 5 - Darling Dear (16 tracks or other version)
The Jackson 5 - I Wanna Be Where You Are (16 tracks or other version)
The Jackson 5 - It's Great To Be Here (16 tracks or other version)
The Police - Every Breath You Take (23 tracks or other version)
ZTT (anything from this label)


Please email me at pc@frankplads.com if you have any of these! Thanks.

(Updated 25/4-2018.)

2017-03-30

The Proust questionnaire - slightly expanded

This questionnaire supposedly has its origins in a parlour game popularised (though not devised) by Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist. He believed that, in answering these questions, an individual reveals his or her true nature.

Do you want to see what David Bowie answered Vanity Fair in 1998 when they gave him these questions? Clicky-click.



Here is the slightly expanded Proust questionnaire:

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

2. What is your greatest fear?

3. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

4. Which living person do you most admire?

5. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

6. What is your greatest extravagance?

7. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

8. What is your favourite journey?

9. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

10. On what occasion do you lie?

11. What do you dislike most about your appearance?

12. Which living person do you most despise?

13. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

14. What is your greatest regret?

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

16. When and where were you happiest?

17. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

18. Which talent would you most like to have?

19. What is your current state of mind?

20. If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?

21. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

22. If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?

23. If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?

24. What is your most treasured possession?

25. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

26. Where would you like to live?

27. What is your favourite occupation?

28. What is your most marked characteristic?

29. What is the quality you most like in a man?

30. What is the quality you most like in a woman?

31. What do you most value in your friends?

32. Who are your favourite writers?

33. Who is your favourite hero of fiction?

34. Who are your heroes in real life?

35. What are your favourite names?

36. What is it that you most dislike?

37. How would you like to die?

38. What is your motto?

https://www.brainpickings.org/2014/07/10/david-bowie-proust-questionnaire-vanity-fair/

2017-03-08

Happy international women's day!




❤ to all my sisters - we've got a long way to go before things are equal enough globally between the sexes, but at least the situation is much better than 100 years ago.

I think your biggest fight now is getting equality, respect and recognition in the Islamic world, and we are with you every step of the way. Happy international women's day!


Quotes, texts and links to celebrate #InternationalWomensDay:

1)
"If you want to fight patriarchy but won't fight religion - you're not fighting patriarchy."
- Ali A. Rizvi: https://goo.gl/cGJX5c


2)
"You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation."
- Brigham Young


3)
We are sorry for the brief interruption today, but don't worry - tomorrow we are back to normal with the first of 364 consecutive days celebrating men all over the world. Hooray for men!


4)
To women and men - stop using words like "sluts" and "hoes" about women who have sex in a way you don't agree with. You have NO ownership of their bodies, they should be free to do what they want without being shamed.


5)
"You can tell who
the strong
women are. They
are the ones you
see building up
one another
instead of tearing
each other
down."


6)
These strong and inventive women changed the world, as shown in this video by Nobel Prize: https://goo.gl/LR9DUu


7)
"Great minds discuss ideas.
Average minds discuss events.
Small minds discuss people."
- Eleanor Roosevelt


8)
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver on HBO looks at how difficult it can be for many women to have an abortion in the United States of America: https://goo.gl/EL6WQk

This shit needs to stop. Let women have full control of their bodies. Now.


9)
Eight inventions by women that dudes got credit for, listed by Mother Jones: https://goo.gl/3G1QWg

Monopoly, nuclear fission, and programming - ladies did it first.



(。◕‿◕。)


2017-02-22

F*ck Iran and Sweden - and this is why


The dictatorship in Iran forces women to cover their hair, and recently a Swedish delegation obediently followed orders. Article in UN Watch: https://goo.gl/OHuIQy


1) F*ck Sweden. They should boycott Iran and demand specific improvements in the country, and not deal with the theocracy before these changes have been implemented.

2) F*ck the trade minister Ann Linde and the rest of the recent Iran delegation from Sweden - they are a disgrace to both their country and real feminism. ALL of the women should have refused to wear a hijab, instead of giving in. The country only wants money, and would have had to accept a refusal. The women should also have demanded to shake the Iranian men's hands.

3) F*ck Sweden for saying that they have a "feminist government", when Linde is trying to defend her hijab use in Tehran by saying that "failing to do so would have broken the law". No - you don't actually have to respect religious bullsh*t. BBC News: https://goo.gl/dP7nUI

4) F*ck the Swedish public broadcaster SVT for trying to hide the fact that minister Linde and the women in her delegation chose to wear hijabs: https://goo.gl/WuHgE8

5) F*ck the Swedish finance minister Magdalena Andersson for comparing hats with hijabs (https://goo.gl/3vYUFF). No matter what she says, a statement like that shows that she has very little empathy for subdued women. Read this excellent criticism by Masih Alinejad of My Stealthy Freedom: https://goo.gl/wvKou5

6) Also watch this speech by Alinejad on why female politicians must challenge compulsory hijab: https://goo.gl/U5tEya

7) And finally, f*ck World Chess Federation (FIDE) for allowing Iran to host the women’s world chess championship, when they knew that the players would be required to wear the hijab. CNN (https://goo.gl/B9WDI7) and CNSNews.com (https://goo.gl/1NyAsG).


P.S. This extreme political correctness is a big part of why Sweden is so f*cked, and why the country will have huge problems in the near future.

P.P.S. Why are men's and women's chess tournaments separated anyway? Are men really better than women in the game? If so, are they so much better that women't can't compete in the same championships?

P.P.P.S. Sort of similar hijab case from Norway in 2010, with Martine Aurdal: https://goo.gl/xPPRJh