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2017-01-21

Live-tweets by The Onion Politics during Trump's inauguration

The Onion's politics section live-tweeted during President Donald J. Trump's inauguration. Below are the tweets.



(cartoon by Mike Luckovich)


Follow @OnionPolitics now as the nation celebrates a peaceful transition into Ragnarök.

45,395th-largest-ever D.C. crowd gathers at Capitol.

Nation to celebrate peaceful transition of color.

Obama praying Xanax holds out for next 30 minutes.

Melania Trump once again asks military officer to run away with her.

Report: One way ticket to Paris only $480 right now.

Bill Clinton quietly asks Hillary why the fuck they at inauguration.

Report: This the most stairs Trump has ever had to walk down.

Report: Half of inauguration attendees to be ruined by cost of routine surgery.

Priest at inauguration really putting a lot of emphasis behind pleas for God's help.

Mike Pence saying private, more intense prayer.

Trump trying to look prayerish.

Biden turns up volume of Alice In Chains playing through earbuds.

Trump perks up notably at sight of blonde woman at podium.

Report: Muslim prayer next.

This actually a Missouri state university chorale cover band.

Alto in third row singing off-key in subtle protest.

Choir currently singing latin about endless torment of hell.

Eric Trump fondly recalls choir boy he used to torment.

Report: Please let next 4 years be this boring.

Report: This is 96% of inauguration audience's first time seeing jew in person.

Chilly man in audience wishes he'd worn thicker flag.

Crowd thought it'd never have to hear Democrat speak again.

Trump calms nerves before inaugural address by reminding himself he's the only person who actually exists.

Mormon choir somehow second-whitest choir at this inauguration.

Choir accidentally sworn in as 45th president.

Flag in front of Capitol building wishes it weren't waving so majestically.

Report: There still time for something to happen between now and end of oath.

Justice Roberts stops in middle of oath of office to remind audience this just his job.

Melania Trump quickly checks phone for flight check-in information.

Trump to nation: 'There are at least a dozen other places I'd rather be right now.'

'It is a tremendous honor to have every American serve me as their president,' claims grateful Trump.

Trump fact: He has vowed to avoid ethical entanglements through strict and transparent redefinition of the word "Ethical".

Trump accidentally tells nation nuclear codes.

Report: This less scary if you don't know any history.

Obama quietly thinking about how much better his inauguration speech was.

Inauguration fact: An inauguration of a president is the first step in the impeachment process.

Trump vows to eradicate face of earth.

Majority of crowd believes America competing in contest of some sort.

Trump supporter stabs brown man to double-check blood.

Trump: 'Please ignore the 200,000 women you see tomorrow.'

Trump already asleep.

Rabbi: 'Well that was a little scary, wasn't it?'

Crowd not sure what to do with hands, head during Jewish prayer.
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